But first, a little of Matthews' usual Hollywood ass-licking: "I gotta tell you guys," Tweety crowed to the Chicago Tribune's Clarence Page and Newsweek's Michael Isikoff, "I got a call last night at my hotel, the Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South" – nice plug there, Chris, that ought to get you the room upgrade you were clearly angling for – "because Polly Bergen the great actress, found out that's where I was staying because my wife mentioned it last night. You're laughing, Clarence."
"Mm-hm!" Page readily affirmed, amused by Matthews' unabashed starfucking. "I remember her well!"
Matthews finally got around to, you know, actual politics and wondered why the out-of-office Cheney still makes political pronouncements. "He knows that every time he does," Isikoff shot back, "you'll do a segment on it, Chris, so why should he stop?"
"Well, I'm the only guy that pronounces his name properly — it's Cheeny," Matthews replied with the smug piousness he habitually attaches to this topic. "I guess that's why he likes it here."
"And," Page slyly chimed in, "you get no credit for it, Chris."
"Well," Matthews replied, utterly unaware he'd just had more piss taken out of him than a kidney patient, "I don't want any." Aw, shucks. Not to mention the fact that Cheney doesn't actually "like" Hardball at all — he's never appeared on the show. If anything, Cheney just appreciates the fact that Matthews not only gives copious, automatic airtime to every self-righteous, hypocritical, intellectually bankrupt, borderline treasonous attack that Cheney makes on the President of the United States, but also still includes a photo of the disgraced former vice-president in the show's bumpers, as if he's still an active player on the political stage.
And that wasn't the only Matthewsian headcase display of the show. Earlier, Tweety proclaimed, "It is insane to have to fly to New York from Washington because of the stupid bureaucracy in this country. We ought to get eminent domain and get a train between here and there." Isikoff and Page stared at the camera slack-jawed and goggle-eyed, stunned that their macrocephalic host has apparently never heard of something called Amtrak. How could an elite gentleman who is a favorite of renowned actress Polly Bergen, an accurate pronouncer of Dick Cheney's surname and a patron of the splendid Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South — for reservations click here (now do I get a free room?) — not know of this 39-year-old rail system?
Chris Matthews is a nut.