"Joy to the World": TRANSLATED

    I once had a chum by the name of Jeremiah who happened to belong to the species Rana catesbeiana.  I was unable to parse his utterances; nonetheless, I assisted him in consuming the contents of his wine cellar, and let me tell you, the contents were of uniformly excellent quality.
    This is what I would decree if I were some sort of global despot: I would dispose of all automobiles, drinking establishments and armed conflicts, and have pleasant consensual sexual relations with you.
    You're no doubt familiar with the fact that I am quite partial to those of the feminine persuasion and also very much enjoy merrymaking.  I travel through the air at high altitude after sundown and circumnavigate an arch of colors formed in the sky by the refraction and dispersion of the sun's light by water droplets in the atmosphere.  And, may I add, I am a tremendously honest and forthright person.
    And so I wish great elation to all beings on the planet, but in particular: children of all genders; limbless cold-blooded vertebrate animals with gills and fins, but only those that inhabit the ocean; and you and me.