"Werewolves of London" TRANSLATED

    I witnessed a lycanthrope traversing the red-light district of central London in the midst of a downpour.  He was clutching the bill of fare for a Chinese restaurant.  As I understand it, he was in search of an eatery called Lee Ho Fook's, where he intended to consume a great deal of fried noodles with shredded meat.
    He is baying quite audibly in the vicinity of the entrance to your scullery.  You would be well advised not to grant him entrance because the previous evening, an elderly lady was mangled.  The culprits, as ever, were the lycanthropes of London.
    He is the fellow with hirsute palms who behaved in a highly untoward manner in the suburbs — Kent, to be specific.  More recently, though, his ululations have resounded in the highly affluent Mayfair area.  James, I advise keeping your distance from him, as he is quite likely to forcibly excise your pulmonary system.  That said, I would very much appreciate an introduction to his clothier.
    I happened to spy the great character actor of the '20s, Lon Chaney, strolling with Queen Elizabeth; for some reason they were both impersonating the lycanthropes of London.  I also happened to spy Chaney's son Lon Chaney, Jr., also a legendary film actor, strolling with the very same Queen Elizabeth, and they, too, they were impersonating the lycanthropes of London.  Finally, I spotted a lycanthrope sipping a cocktail of rum, pineapple juice, and coconut milk at the iconic tiki bar Trader Vic's; I must say, he sported an impeccable coiffure.