"Help Me, Rhonda" TRANSLATED

    Since my former lover dissolved our relationship, I have been getting very intoxicated.  I go out drinking and invariably return to my residence deep into the evening, then sleep in the following day.
    Rhonda, you are very attractive and I'm quite confident that you could quickly assist me with forgetting my former lover.
    Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda; assist, assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me, Rhonda, yes, with forgetting my former lover.
    We were engaged but she cheated on me, so that ruined everything.
    You prompted my attention, Rhonda, and I would be happy to enumerate the various qualities which prompted my attention.  You simply must assist me, Rhonda.  Assist me with forgetting my former lover.