"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" TRANSLATED

    I am unable to fulfill my desires.  Once again: I am unable to fulfill my desires.  I attempt to and I attempt to and I attempt to and I attempt to.  But I am unable.  I am unable.
    When I'm out for a spin in my automobile, a fellow on the airwaves imparts a great deal of meaningless content intended to incite my consumerism.  I am unable to... oh, no, no, no.  My response is as follows: "hey, hey, hey."
    When I'm looking at television, another fellow appears on the screen and informs me that my shirts can attain a high degree of whiteness.  However, his masculinity is severely deficient because we do not consume the same brand of smokes.
    When I'm traveling internationally, performing various tasks, and affixing my signature to various papers, I pitch woo to a young woman who requests that I try again seven days hence because she is currently going through what I will euphemistically call a "rough patch."
    I am unable to... oh, I am not, I am not, I am not.
    As stated, my response is as follows: "hey, hey, hey."
    I am unable to, I am unable to, I am unable to fulfill my desires... fulfill my desires... fulfill my desires... fulfill my desires... I am unable to...