"Surrender" TRANSLATED

    My mother informed me, indeed, she informed me that I would inevitably encounter young women of your ilk.  She furthermore informed that I should avoid such young women as I would run a high risk of contracting a communicable disease from them.  Recently, I heard tell of a serviceman who went overboard from a certain flat-bottomed Indonesian sailing vessel with a prominent stem, a high stern, and lugsails that is currently at sea.
    My mother is just fine.  My father is just fine.  They do, however, appear to be somewhat strange.  Concede defeat.  Concede defeat.  But take care not to betray yourself.
    My father announces, "Your mother is correct, she is well informed.  Prior to our nuptials, she was stationed in the Philippines as a member of the Women's Army Corps."  It is my understanding that, during the war, the Women's Army Corps inducted women who were too old for marriage.  However, I have been acquainted with my mother for quite some time and I can assure you that she does not fit that description.
    I would like to ascertain the fate of each and every one of those who consistently failed to win during this stage of the year.  I continually wonder about their whereabouts.  But when I arose, I encountered my mother and my father cavorting on the sofa while rolling marijuana cigarettes and enjoying rock music, specifically that of Kiss.