You and What Army

GETTING THE HURT LOCKER

     It's been really interesting to see how many people have completely missed the point of The Hurt Locker.   One film-fan friend of mine declared that the film is an "almost jingoistic America first video game-ish action film that promotes hyper-masculine individualism, celebrates stunted male adolescent irresponsibility, stereotypes Iraqi and Muslims and mocks genuine peace keepers."
    Well, yes, exactly.  But neither The Hurt Locker nor its director Kathryn Bigelow advocates those things. In fact, quite the opposite.  You see, the film is metaphorical.
    The key to understanding The Hurt Locker is to pay close attention to the quotation from American (anti-)war journalist Chris Hedges shown at the very beginning of the film: "The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug."  The line is from Hedges' book War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning, which argues that, like some individuals, some entire societies are hooked on war.  That ought to be a big clue about where Bigelow is coming from.
    The Hurt Locker is an extended metaphor about America's addiction to war.  The bomb-defuser guy represents that addiction -- endless, foolish, irresponsible, probably insane but allowed to have its way. Like America itself, he is a war junkie.  The reckless cowboy approach has worked so far, but eventually, it will all blow up in our face.  We will o.d. on war.
    Read what my friend said again: "an almost jingoistic America first video game-ish action film that promotes hyper-masculine individualism, celebrates stunted male adolescent irresponsibility, stereotypes Iraqi and Muslims and mocks genuine peace keepers."  That's precisely how the Bush-Cheney administration approached the invasion of Iraq.
    I thought that was brilliant, but apparently, a whole lot of people, from my friend to Chris "I'm the Second-Craziest Man on Cable News" Matthews to progressive veterans' rights advocate Paul Rieckhoff, completely missed that crucial metaphor, so perhaps that is a shortcoming of the film.  Perhaps this is a problem with using tools like extended metaphor or irony in popular entertainment -- most people won't get it.  I'm reminded of Neil Young's bitter "Keep On Rockin' in the Free World," which was misinterpreted as a jingoistic anthem. 
    But I thought The Hurt Locker was great.  In fact, it was dead-on.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: AMERICAN PSYCHO

    Tonight, Chris "I Love My Half-assed Witticisms So Much That I'll Repeat Them Ad Infinitum" Matthews of MSNBC's Hardball not only referred to Dick Cheney as "the troll under the bridge" for the kajillionth time, but he also reminded us, yet again, that he knows how to pronounce Dick Cheney's surname and don't you forget it.  The difference was, this time someone actually chided him about it.
     But first, a little of Matthews' usual Hollywood ass-licking: "I gotta tell you guys," Tweety crowed to the Chicago Tribune's Clarence Page and Newsweek's Michael Isikoff, "I got a call last night at my hotel, the Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South" – nice plug there, Chris, that ought to get you the room upgrade you were clearly angling for – "because Polly Bergen the great actress, found out that's where I was staying because my wife mentioned it last night.  You're laughing, Clarence."
     "Mm-hm!" Page readily affirmed, amused by Matthews' unabashed starfucking.  "I remember her well!"
     Matthews finally got around to, you know, actual politics and wondered why the out-of-office Cheney still makes political pronouncements.  "He knows that every time he does," Isikoff shot back, "you'll do a segment on it, Chris, so why should he stop?"
    "Well, I'm the only guy that pronounces his name properly — it's Cheeny," Matthews replied with the smug piousness he habitually attaches to this topic.  "I guess that's why he likes it here."
     "And," Page slyly chimed in, "you get no credit for it, Chris."
     "Well," Matthews replied, utterly unaware he'd just had more piss taken out of him than a kidney patient, "I don't want any."  Aw, shucks.  Not to mention the fact that Cheney doesn't actually "like" Hardball at all — he's never appeared on the show.  If anything, Cheney just appreciates the fact that Matthews not only gives copious, automatic airtime to every self-righteous, hypocritical, intellectually bankrupt, borderline treasonous attack that Cheney makes on the President of the United States, but also still includes a photo of the disgraced former vice-president in the show's bumpers, as if he's still an active player on the political stage.
    And that wasn't the only Matthewsian headcase display of the show.  Earlier, Tweety proclaimed, "It is insane to have to fly to New York from Washington because of the stupid bureaucracy in this country.  We ought to get eminent domain and get a train between here and there."  Isikoff and Page stared at the camera slack-jawed and goggle-eyed, stunned that their macrocephalic host has apparently never heard of something called Amtrak.  How could an elite gentleman who is a favorite of renowned actress Polly Bergen, an accurate pronouncer of Dick Cheney's surname and a patron of the splendid Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South — for reservations click here (now do I get a free room?) — not know of this 39-year-old rail system?
    Chris Matthews is a nut.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: AMERICAN PSYCHO

     As noted previously, Chris "Second-Craziest Person in Cable News" Matthews is extremely obsessed with pronouncing Dick Cheney's name correctly. He's very proud of the fact that he knows the right pronunciation and you don't. And the other day, November 17th, he finally had a kind of grand mal fit about it.
    Matthews was in the middle of a conversation with regular guests Democratic party strategist Steve McMahon and former McCain operative Todd Harris about Cheney endorsing Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison in her bid for the governorship of Texas, when Harris made the grievous error of pronouncing it Chainy.  Hilarity ensued as Matthews grew more and more incensed about Harris' mispronunciation.
     From the MSNBC transcript:

MATTHEWS: Why do you mispronounce—why do you mis—Steve—I mean, Todd, why do you mispronounce Cheney‘s name, on purpose or what?

(LAUGHTER)

HARRIS: You know...

(CROSSTALK)

MATTHEWS: His name is Cheeny.

HARRIS: Yes, I know that. Well, I know that you pronounce it that way.

MATTHEWS: But why do you call him Chainy? Why do you call him Chainy?

HARRIS: Why do you call him Cheeny?

(LAUGHTER)

MATTHEWS: It‘s his name.

(LAUGHTER)

HARRIS: Yes. No. Well, I‘m not sure that...

(CROSSTALK)

MATTHEWS: I don‘t understand why you go with the—you‘re going with some sort of other pronunciation.

    Every time it says "(LAUGHTER)," that's Harris trying to smooth over the fact that Matthews is a nutjob with OCD, chuckling in order to buy time for thinking about how to get past this insane line of conversation.
     A few minutes later, as they closed the segment:

MATTHEWS: We‘re going to help you with that pronunciation of the former vice president‘s name.

HARRIS: Cheeny. Cheeny.

MCMAHON: Cheeny. Cheeny.

MATTHEWS: Right. Thank you. Look it up. As we always say, look it up.