You and What Army

OVERHEARD: Statue Placement

The time: A sunny late morning in June
The place: Governors Island, in New York Harbor
The player: A twentysomething bro in a Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt

Twentysomething bro [gazing out at the Statue of Liberty]: Why'd they put it there?

OVERHEARD: The Singer's Name

The time: A sunny autumn afternoon
The place: 6th Avenue between 8th and 9th Streets
The players: A somewhat hip fortysomething couple

Somewhat Hip Fortysomething Woman: What was the singer's name?
Somewhat Hip Fortysomething Man: Roland Orzabal.
Somewhat Hip Fortysomething Woman: That's a terrible name!

OVERHEARD: When to get smashed

THE TIME: 8:10 on a balmy Tuesday evening

THE PLACE: A street in the West Village

THE PLAYERS: Two twentysomething men

 

Twentysomething man #1: It's better to get smashed after dinner than it is to arrive smashed.

OVERHEARD: BYE-EEE!

THE PLACE: In front of Joe's Pizza in Greenwich Village
THE PLAYERS: Guy #1 and Guy #2

Guy #1: So I call her up and I go, "What are you doing tonight?" And she goes, [sing-song voice] "Oh, I'm knitting and watching Sex and the City…"
Guy #2: And you're like, bye-eeee!
Guy #1: Exactly.

OVERHEARD: NO PUSSY BLUES

THE PLACE: Madison Square Garden
THE PLAYERS: Nick Cave and a heckler

NICK CAVE: This song is called "No Pussy Blues."
HECKLER: "WELL, YOU'RE UGLY — WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE CALLED?"

OVERHEARD: NO CHOICE BUT RED BULL

THE PLACE: The sidewalk in front of the lesbian bar Henrietta Hudson's on Hudson Street
THE PLAYER: A tattooed woman in a t-shirt stood, clasping a can of Red Bull and talking into a cellphone

TATTOOED WOMAN: "It tastes like a man's sweaty ass. But I have no choice."

OVERHEARD: ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT THE BAND BEIRUT

THE PLACE: The Northsix club in Williamsburg
THE BAND: Beirut
THE PLAYERS: A guy and his date

GUY: "One of the great things about this band is their songs are usually pretty short, so even if they're bad they don't last that long."

OVERHEARD: HELPFUL DIRECTIONS

THE PLACE: The lobby of 100 Park Avenue
THE PLAYERS: An Hispanic messenger and the guard at the security desk

MESSENGER: "Fifteen floor?"
GUARD: "Next one on the left. [Adds, helpfully] "El next one on the lefto."

OVERHEARD: FUZZY CARDIGAN

THE PLACE: A midtown photo studio
THE PLAYERS: a photographer and me, wearing my favorite fuzzy black cardigan.

PHOTOGRAPHER: "You know what I call that kind of sweater? That's a Kurt Cobain sweater!"
ME: "Ha, you're right!"

OVERHEARD: A SCREAMER

THE PLACE: The #1 train leaving Times Square
THE PLAYERS: A normal-looking 40-ish guy and a normal-looking 30-ish woman

GUY: So he's a screamer, right?
WOMAN: Yes.
GUY: Then I'd slap him.